The Kiss of Life
by distraught.hallelujah
Summary: Toshiro Hitsugaya is choking and there are no Squad 4 members to be seen! All he can do now is indirectly put his life into the hands of a horde of screaming fan girls who will stop at nothing to give him the kiss of life – one for each girl there.


Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of Squad 10 contentedly munched on a dumpling. He liked dumplings and today Matsumoto had brought some in for a meeting which had finished recently and left him with his own serving, so he was happy. He had lots and lots of dumplings, all to himself, which left him nearly giddy with pleasure.

He popped another one into his mouth and paused. What was that sound? Something like running feet? Lots of them, it sounded like. Who could it be?

Suddenly the door slammed open and a huge crowd of females appeared, their faces crazed. The captain gasped, jumping back in surprise, and immediately regretted it – he choked. The dumpling was lodged in his throat and he couldn't breathe.

"Surprise!" one girl yelled. "Can we have your autograph?"

"Make it out to 'your biggest fan,'" a second girl said eagerly. Toshiro clutched at his throat, hacking, but no one seemed to notice anything was wrong. It was only when he fell out of his chair and lay unmoving on the floor that the fan girls thought something might be up. Immediately, the girls raced forward as one.

"Oh, my gosh, he's dead!" one girl shrieked.

"No, he needs resuscitation! Give him here!" one girl snatched him into her lap and straightened her elbows to do CPR. "Thirty chest compressions and then two breaths," she recited giddily. "Aw, to hell with the chest compressions! I shall give him the kiss of life!" She leaned forward.

"No," another girl yelled, snatching him back. "He's not having a heart attack, he's choking! He needs the Heimlich! Give him here!" She lifted him up and threw her arms around him, but instead of making an effort to do the Heimlich Maneuver, she stayed there, grinning like a maniac, the Squad 10 captain unconscious in her arms, as she held him against herself with a sigh of pleasure.

"He's turning blue!" another girl shrieked.

"He looks hot blue!" another girl exclaimed, giving a dreamy sigh.

"He needs the kiss of life," the first girl argued, yanking him back and pressing her lips to the captain's. There was a moment of silence.

"Give him to me," said an authoritative voice. They whipped around to see a dreary dark-haired girl holding her hands out. When no one made a move, she made a fist, punched the girl holding the captain, and caught the captain before he hit the ground, letting the girl fall over slowly backwards. The dark-haired girl wrapped her arms around him and heaved, very firmly.

The captain's mouth opened and the girls simultaneously ducked the projectile dumpling, except for one in the back who wasn't so lucky. She slowly fell over, while the dreary girl holding the captain laid him on the floor and began lightly slapping his cheek.

"Captain, sir?" she asked. There was no movement, no spark of life. The girls watched anxiously for any sign that he was still alive.

"Now he gets the kiss of life," the dreary girl said meaningfully. Immediately, eight hands went up. One of the girls knelt and tried to yank the captain's still body from the dreary girl, but the girl held on tight, and soon it was a tug-of-war.

The captain's eyes fluttered open. There were multiple gasps.

"Captain," the dark-haired girl said, relieved, as the other girl let go quickly and tried to look cute. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm marrying her," the captain said, jerking a thumb at the dark-haired girl, who smiled modestly. The other girls let out their disappointed breaths as one, then began to slowly file out of the room, grumbling to themselves. There were a couple dazed-looking girls who sat up from the floor, looking confused, and the Squad 10 captain Toshiro Hitsugaya and the Goth girl who saved his life lived happily ever after…

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading, and please review if you liked it! Constructive criticism welcome! Incidentally, the dark-haired girl was not supposed to be Karin (which is sort of what it may have indirectly looked like… sorry) but rather Yua, a minor character who showed up for a couple scenes in one of my other books, Mind Your Manners, which is the second book in the Jun Trilogy after Mind Your Head. Dumplings may have also showed up purely by chance. Please take a look at some of my other stories if you liked this one. Thanks again!**


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